Success and Failure

There is no success and no failure.

These concepts of success and failure are based on the idea that some result is good, and another result is bad. In fact, everything is just an experience. When we place conditions on something, expecting it to be a certain way, we are not only limiting it, but our happiness also becomes dependant on external situations, and that inevitably leads to suffering.

One experience I had stemmed from the expectations from my family. As the eldest sibling, I felt a sense of duty to uphold. When I realized that everything I did was counterproductive and stepped back, they found it even more improper and stopped speaking with me (for some time). This gave me an understanding of conditional love: I accept you when you are good, but I can't accept you when you're bad. Over time, this allowed all of us to see the conditions we set upon each other and ourselves within our family. Gradually, this shifted our family dynamics in a positive way.

It is conditions that create unhappiness. Like the thought that “I need coffee in the morning”, it limits us and our enjoyment of life. And even when these conditions are fulfilled, our mind keeps wanting more and more. It can never be satisfied.

So what can we do? Karma Yoga.

That means not becoming attached to the results of our actions.

When we remain caught up in the ideas of success and failure, we can at least change our negative thoughts into more optimistic ones. For instance, instead of using the word 'failure', we can frame it as 'not succeeding'. It makes a totally different feeling - one that makes it easier to keep going. Then everything becomes a lesson, and we can more fully enjoy life. Our teachers explained this in Healing Alchemy class yesterday: more than success, the journey is the reward.

Today I read this passage about of how humans cannot even control that basic parts of their life. We weren't born because we wanted to be; we couldn't choose our parent's or the country we were born in, or our innate abilities... this is the will of fate.

And at the very end it goes like this:

"Therefore, we should do our best now and enjoy living today."